I had written. This was the first contact that either had had in all those years with another homosexual. Although fully aware of the gay world and its inmates, it held no attraction or interest for these two.

An English friend of mine, now living in Canada, has often referred to two old friends of his who share an old Victorian mansion just outside London. They are both now in their mid-eighties and have been together since their early twenties. Certainly the record for such relationships! My friend assures me that one need be in their company but a short time to realize that their love and devotion is as strong today as it was in their youth-despite an understandable cooling of passions.

Then there are the two that operate a large rooming house in the city, another couple a chartered accountant and a teacher of advanced music theory-live in the suburbs and commute daily to their offices. Two of our friends have a landscape and gardening service business; another two operate a hotel in a small town that is famous far and wide for Sunday dinners. These are but a few-there are many more whose stories could fill a year's issue of ONE.

All these relationships, established primarily to bring love, companionship and meaning to the participants' lives were also stepping-stones to material benefits that would otherwise most likely never have been realized.

That each was lucky in meeting the right partner is freely admitted, but there is scant truth to the remarks I have heard from some disgruntled ones to the effect that the successful relationship is "just good luck." One is reminded of the retort of Stephen Leacock to the lady who had told him how "lucky" he was with his writings, "True, Madam, but I have noticed that the harder I work, the luckier I get." The homosexual "marriage" certainly requires work if it is to succeed. But it is questionable if one ever achieves much in this world without willingness to work and sacrifice when necessary. And in few cases does this hold more true than in that of two homosexuals who wish to spend their lives together. As a speaker remarked at last year's Mid-Winter Institute while discussing this subject, "Fifty-fifty is not enough, each must contribute at least 60% to the effort." The unwillingness to do so accounts for a good many of the break-ups. There are, of course, other causes as well: those "other pastures" that look so deceptively green, the foolish, petty jealousies and so often-the incompatability that exists in every room in the place other than the bed-room. The successful homosexual relationship is composed of many elements: love, trust, mutual respect, co-operation and, above all the determination on the part of both partners to remain together in spite of what family, friends or anyone else thinks, says or does.

Apart from these requirements that must be present, there is still another that is a prerequisite not only to the successful relationship, but which is equally essential to the happiness of the single homosexual. I refer to the ability to accept oneself as a homosexual-completely without reservation or guilt. That many cannot do so is, I firmly believe, the cause of much of the misery and unhappiness that besets their lives and so often sets them upon the downward path that leads to the psychiatrist's couch.

Now I freely admit that the requirements that I have listed comprise a pretty formidable array. And yet, that they have been met is proven in the many permanent relationships that have stood the test of time. I am quite ready to admit that there are some homosexuals who are utterly incapable of maintaining a permanent relationship of this type-who, indeed, have no desire whatsoever for such a life.

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